Happy New Year!

Jillian's wedding in December was gorgeous as expected, Christmas break in Florida was fun and warm as expected, and I gained weight as expected.

Case in point:

Today I was cut out of a dress. I wish I were kidding.

I went into a small store that sells cute, well-priced clothes in search of a red dress for Mel's bachelorette party on Sunday (it's a red-themed bachelorette gathering). I took a few cute ones into a fitting room, put the first one on, and zipped it up.

And then I couldn't zip it back down.

I tugged. I yanked. I pleaded with God not to let me endure the humiliation of having to ask for help from the saleslady.

I struggled in vain for 20 minutes before flying my white flag of defeat and calling for help.

She tried for approximately 30 seconds before leaving to get some scissors so she could cut me out of the dress.

My first thought: "FREE WILLY!!!!"

Quickly followed by: "OMG I AM A WHALE."

Needless to say, number 1 on my list of new years resolutions is "drop 15 pounds immediately."

Where handbag?

Max is a little bit obsessed with my purse. Actually he's a little bit obsessed with Marm, as long as he doesn't see him in real life. (Their only 10-second encounter involved both of them frozen in place, staring at each other, until Marm hissed and Max let out a little scream/cry. It was kind of hilarious, once I assured Max that Marm was just as scared as he was.) Anyway, whenever I babysit, Max eventually has this conversation with me:

Max: Where handbag? (with his cute little hands pointed up in a "where is it?" pose)

Me: I don't know. You'll have to look for it.

Max: Jacket! (Holding up my coat).

Me: Oh you found it under my jacket!

Max: Help open.

Me: Hold on to this end with this hand, and hold the zipper with the other hand, and pull.

Max: Zip! (while opening the purse)

Max: Where cat?

Me: Do I have a cat in my handbag?!

Max: No, phone.

Me: Oh, you want to see a picture of the cat on my phone?

Max: Yes.

(I show him some pictures of Marm)

Max: He cute.

Me: You're cute too, Max.

Max: Yes. I cute.

Wabbit, Hair-- uh uh uh.

I feel like I haven't had a good Max story in a while, so I thought I'd share one from today. He has this rabbit-in-a-hat puppet that he's obsessed with, and he likes to sit on his slide while I and Mr. Rabbit sit at the bottom of it and catch whatever he sends down. Well, I have the attention span of a goldfish, so usually after a few minutes of catching the same car, Mr. Rabbit and I start entertaining ourselves. Today Mr. Rabbit messed up my hair, and I said, "Mr. Rabbit! It's not nice to mess up people's hair!" Mr. Rabbit looked sad and apologized like the good little rabbit he is. And then Max came down the slide, put one hand on his hip, and pointed his finger at the rabbit and said, "Wabbit, hair, uh uh uh" while shaking his little finger at Mr. Rabbit.

I only wish I had taken a video of it to share his cuteness with the world.

Who needs a masseuse when you've got a Marm?

I know, two posts in one day is a bit excessive. But I finally figured out how to post this movie of what Marm does every night and every morning. And how could I not share his cuteness with the world?!

Lentils!

Max's mom is big into lentils, and she had me make a few different lentil dishes for them this week while Max was napping. Some were okay, one I really liked and ended up taking a picture of the recipe so I can make it for myself one day. But I must say, I do have quite a delicious lentil recipe courtesy of my grandmother (shout out to my mom for teaching me how to make it!). The great things about this recipe are that 1) it's super easy to make, 2) it's quite forgiving if you don't have an ingredient or want to substitute stuff, and 3) you end up making a huge pot of them, so you can feed an army or freeze it in convenient portions for later. And it's pretty much a one-pot meal, so easy cleanup too! Win all around!

Here's the picture (forgive my presentation, I know it's not quite Iron Chef- quality):

And here's the recipe in case you want to try it:

1 medium onion, chopped

2 small cans of tomato sauce

a few slices of chopped bacon (optional)

1 chopped chorizo

2 carrots, peeled and grated

½ cup rice

1 bag of lentils

Salt

Pepper

Paprika

1. Fry the bacon and chorizo together. Remove. Then add onion and carrots and brown until carrots are softened.
2. In a large pot, add lentils and enough water to cover lentils plus ½ inch. Cook on medium high heat. Make sure lentils are always covered with water. If necessary, add boiling water as needed.
3. Return the meat and add sauce to onions and carrots. Add salt, pepper, and paprika.
4. After the lentils cooked (15 minutes), add meat mixture to lentils. Add the rice and cook for 20 minutes. Add more boiling water (1 cup) to make sure that rice is completely covered. Simmer on low for 10 minutes covered, and then uncover and simmer for another 10 minutes, making sure the rice is always covered.
5. If there’s still too much liquid, take it off the heat and let it sit for a few minutes while cooling. Make sure you stir the concoction so that it doesn’t stick on the bottom.

I actually didn't have any meat at all in the house when I made it, and it came out just as delicious as a vegetarian option (although if you can get some good chorizo, I highly recommend it in this dish). I was also out of paprika so I substituted oregano and a little red pepper flakes because that's pretty much all I have in this house, and I put in 3 carrots and most of a huge can of crushed tomatoes (instead of the 2 small cans of sauce) to use up what I had lying around. Delish. See? I told you it was a forgiving recipe.

Thanksgiving is Coming!

I figured since Thanksgiving is coming in a week, it'd be a good idea to make a list of things I'm thankful for today. So here they are:

1. Abundant sunshine.

2. Beautiful autumn leaves.

3. Being able to go back to sleep relatively quickly all three times I woke up last night, resulting in feeling well-rested for the first time in months.

4. Perfect 61 degree weather.

5. I get to go to Paint, Paste, and Pour with Max today! (You should know that as a preschooler, I was practically the ninja of cutting and pasting, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm still quite a fan of arts and crafts.)

6. Mom comes to New Jersey today!

7. My sore throat is gone, so all that's left of this cold is a stuffy nose, which I've been aggressively attacking from all sides with pseudoephedrine, Mucinex, vitamin C, orange juice, teas for colds, lots of fluids, and chicken soup.

8. I'm in a really good mood. Not really sure why. I guess I just woke up on the right side of the bed this morning!

What are you thankful for today?

You Know You're A Loser When...

You get an email from your local grocery store that reads, "We have
carefully reviewed your application for employment and decided that
your qualifications do not meet the requirements for Sub Shop Customer
Service Representative."

I knew I should've gone for my PhD in the art of sandwich-making from
Harvard. A Masters degree from Columbia just isn't sufficient for
making subs at the grocery store these days.