Happy New Year!

Jillian's wedding in December was gorgeous as expected, Christmas break in Florida was fun and warm as expected, and I gained weight as expected.

Case in point:

Today I was cut out of a dress. I wish I were kidding.

I went into a small store that sells cute, well-priced clothes in search of a red dress for Mel's bachelorette party on Sunday (it's a red-themed bachelorette gathering). I took a few cute ones into a fitting room, put the first one on, and zipped it up.

And then I couldn't zip it back down.

I tugged. I yanked. I pleaded with God not to let me endure the humiliation of having to ask for help from the saleslady.

I struggled in vain for 20 minutes before flying my white flag of defeat and calling for help.

She tried for approximately 30 seconds before leaving to get some scissors so she could cut me out of the dress.

My first thought: "FREE WILLY!!!!"

Quickly followed by: "OMG I AM A WHALE."

Needless to say, number 1 on my list of new years resolutions is "drop 15 pounds immediately."