Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep...

When I was a little girl, I was taught to pray for angels to protect our house and the people in it from hurricanes, robbers, fires (although that was more a formality than a real threat), and other natural disasters. Yet I've never doubted or been fearful of my physical safety. Never. Not even when my crazy alcoholic roommate used to leave our front door to our Harlem apartment open all night.

Until I moved to God's Square Mile on the Jersey Shore.

First, my halfway house neighbors saved me from this:













Then, this happened a short 6 blocks from my house, destroying 8 homes and damaging 5 others (this is a real photo from the actual event, by the way):



















Then, this happened to the house across the street from mine:















Miraculously, no fire resulted from that lightning strike, although the house did end up with a huge hole in the top of it, and I was told that the lightning completely blew away one of the interior walls.




In the past few weeks, there's been a crazy amount of house and car break-ins reported in my tiny town. Needless to say, my sense of security isn't quite what it used to be. I've always been a light sleeper, but now the slightest noise wakes me up and keeps me alert for a long time.

And I've become paranoid that my poor Marm will meet his doom in that house, either by fire or a burglar letting him escape. I hated leaving him home alone this week, since I'm in Pennsylvania babysitting my cousin while my aunt is out of town. I'm sure he'll be fine, but you can't tell me there's no cause to worry!

Awkward Turtle.

Sometimes I feel like the older I get, the faster my social skills go downhill. For some reason, I find myself intimidated by some people who I shouldn't find intimidating. But then they try to talk to me and I clam up and fight a losing battle with my anxiety until I can make a quick escape. I was more sure of myself as a teenager. Then again, I had less life experience back then. Sometimes being naive can be an advantage, I guess.

In other news, Marmalade turned twelve yesterday, and my grandmother turned 83. I had a supermega-awkward encounter at church that I have no intention of discussing on this public blog and then I worked all afternoon and evening. It was a really busy day, probably because it was absolutely gorgeous out. Sunny and sixty-five degrees, with a slight breeze that was uncharacteristically warm for this time of year. People are crazy. They go shopping when it's a perfect day to sit outside and enjoy the beginnings of Spring. The flowers are just starting to bloom here, and I taught Max the joy of blowing a "wishing flower" (dandelion spores) the other day. I'm sure his neighbors won't be too pleased with us spreading their "weeds" around their lawns, but honestly, God has made some beautiful "weeds". I don't understand why people rip out the pretty yellow and purple wildflowers to plant boring grass. I wonder if there's a correlation between people who do that to their lawns and people who do that to their lives. I guess sometimes it's easier to feel safe and comfortable if your life remains boring and uniform. Adding splashes of color can be beautiful, but scary too.

Okay I'm done being philosophical for today. In not so interesting news, I started Weight Watchers about a week ago. So far I've lost 2 pounds, which isn't that exciting, but then again, I haven't been stressing myself too much either. This week I'm determined to start exercising on a regular basis again, and hopefully by next Monday I'll lose another few pounds. My goal is to lose 20 pounds by July 6th (which is when my subscription is up). Ideally, I'd like to lose half of that by Alicia's graduation on May 12th. I'm finally tired of being fat and not fitting into the clothes I want to wear. Besides, the truth is I'm not getting any younger and it'll only get harder to lose the weight as I age. So it's pretty much now or never. I'll let you know how it goes.

All The Single Ladies...

Not that my degrees give it away or anything, but I find human behavior fascinating. I love learning about what motivates people's behaviors and attitudes towards others, both on an individual level and on a cultural scale. Which brings me to today's post:


It is not a crime to be a single woman at 25.


I am quite happy with my life at the moment, including my relationship status (or lack thereof). But for some reason, upon learning that I'm single, friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers immediately take pity on me and either change the subject or try to set me up with some eligible young man they know.

Why?

In America today, it is considered normal for men to remain single into their thirties. In fact, these prolonged bachelorhoods are glorified by Hollywood, whereas marriage (and increasingly, even dating relationships) are seen as the proverbial "ball and chain" for men. People blame biology and evolution, using the excuse that men are wired to play the field. On the other hand, women are supposed to always be attached to a man, even if she has no intention of ever marrying someone with his characteristics. Young, single women are portrayed in movies as ugly spinsters who have serious character flaws, or so desperate for a boyfriend or husband that they end up scaring men off and driving away any potential relationships. But these stereotypes simply aren't true.

I won't lie and say that I'm always comfortable being single. When I'm the only single person with a bunch of friends who are couples, sometimes things get awkward. But that doesn't stop me from hanging out with those friends, and it doesn't make me feel sorry for myself.

In fact, as more of my friends tie the knot, I'm discovering that I have an enormous amount of freedom that they no longer have, and I'm not talking about dating. Living alone, I'm free to make whatever I want for dinner. If I'm craving burgers every night for a whole week, there's no one else there to say, "burgers again?!" If I crave cake at midnight, I don't have to creep around the kitchen trying not to wake anyone up. In fact, I can blast rock music and sing along while baking my cake (and eating it, too!). If I feel like spending a rainy Saturday in my pajamas all day, I can do that without worrying about how I look. If I want to take a weekend getaway, I can go on a whim anywhere my car and wallet can take me. I can work nights and weekends and not feel bad about not spending time with my significant other. I can move to the other side of the country or the other side of the world without the unpleasant difficulty of trying to make a long distance relationship work. These and more are freedoms that I need in my life right now, and I'm enjoying them to the fullest.

So it astounds me when people around me (usually other women) try to set me up on dates. I don't mind as much when it comes from good friends, who know me well and know what I'm looking for when I eventually do settle down. And don't get me wrong, if someone really does know the Christian version of Prince William with Channing Tatum's looks, I'm not one to turn down my fairy godmother's help (as long as it comes with glass slippers too, because who doesn't like sparkly new shoes?!). But it irks me a bit when people like my employers (who know very little about me, which is the way I like to keep things professional) or my hairdresser try to set me up.

I appreciate the thought behind the offer, but no thanks. I am making the most of my singleness, and quite enjoying it. I don't anticipate it lasting forever, but I'm not one to rush into things just because society says I should.

I like to think of it as dancing to the beat of my own drum.